did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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