I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dicks are not precious.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize