sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Ketchup is God's man juice
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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