Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
