so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
