Nicole vs. Life
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
