I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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