dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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