well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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