you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
