I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
