maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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