he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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