Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
