I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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