They should really pass out barf bags in church
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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