I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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