I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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