the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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