I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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