i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
