I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize