Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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