we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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