Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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