Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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