I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
