So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
