Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize