Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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