cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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