i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Ketchup is God's man juice
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
