Welp...herpes.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
