I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
