I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
