no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my sisters under your porch take her home
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
