Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize