FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
