just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
