How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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