I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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