A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
