Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
