i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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