Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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