now i know why i became what i already was.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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