new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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