I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
