plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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