Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
