I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
