I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
God gave him joint rollers for hands
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
