im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
