can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
