that's an acceptable place to lick
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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