Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
