She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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