We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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