Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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