Jerry, you need to find god
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
