you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
