I can't watch pbs sober anymore
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
