Do you still have your period?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize