I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
