Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
