Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
