I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
