This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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