WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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